Yet

This is for someone who I'm not completely sure about.

No offense but you kinda suck most times.

Especially when I ask you to talk to me,

And by talk I mean

Really talk

Deep thoughts

And sappy, cheesy shit.

I badly want you to ask me what I wanted to be

When I was a little kid

But, instead,

You ask me:

"Ba't ka galit? PMS?"

Because I always seem to be so cold,

And so irritated,

And so sad,

And so-so shutting people out,

But the truth is that

I'm just really bummed about how

You can never tell me how much you think of me.

Or do you really?

Because, as far as I know

You already told me that you like me,

But hell you don't seem to be so interestingly into me

And my boring personality.

Take note:

I am boring as hell.

But, you're still here
So, that has got to be a good thing.

But then again

You're not really making me feel like I could
 Rest my body into your arms for days

Because you keep on holding back.
You keep on looking away.

You keep on making me figure you out.

Just stop making me figure you out

But, instead

Tell me what your mom used to call you when you were 5.

Tell me about the first time you really cried.

Tell me about that film that have made a huge impact in your life.

(And I'm not talking about The Vow, I've seen it.
You're a chick-flick kinda guy.)

Tell me about your vices,

The things you love the most,

The things you loath the most,

The things that annoy you.

Tell me about the things you want to change,

The things you want to stay.

And then, tell me why.

Tell me how.

Tell me when and I'll tell you

That someday you will find out somehow.

Because then, you will not be alone.

By the time you let courage win you over,

I will let you embrace me tight and never let me go.

I will let you brush my hair and make fun of my voice.

I will let you in,

And I will take you home.

You and the world beyond me

When the question of "why?" claims to always be unanswered; when hearts begin to falter in the fault of their own expectations, of their own theory that if they ever get an answer then all the love songs in this world would vanish. When eyes become way too weary from all the sight of defeat and loss. When mouths are left longing for the same taste that they want over and over again as if a child in thirst screaming for iced cold water that he can't have because his throat has been scratched and way too tired from too much talking, too much explaining of things that will never seem to be explicable for those who can't even understand themselves, who is he to even get in the way of their way too chaotic minds? 

When hands beg for more alms in the hopes of getting through the day with their stomach finally filled and no longer angry and their body fueled up even a little bit to just wake up in the morning to do some more begging that they don't even want to do, that deep in their minds they are convinced that they were not born to sit along the street and get neglected every single day, that, convinced, 

they do not live up to get rejected always. 

When the sun begins to fade and the dusk begins to take over, when everyone is obliged to go home and just leave things be for the grace of another morning, when two different people find themselves in love and walking alone and looking up the sky but seeing no stars above them, when they tell each other not to worry because they've got all the light and sparkle they want in each other's eyes anyway, when it's in the middle of dawn and you hear a little girl cry in the midst of her parents' never ending fight, when you decide to go to bed and decide to close your eyes and when everything around you starts to blackout as if you're blind for the rest of the night, when the only sound you could hear is your own heavy breathing as a sign of succeeding the entire day. 

Darling, when you're on your own peaceful and alone, I will be here thinking about all these things, wondering if you think the same, feeling everything through my hands, feeling through my hands that something is wrong; 

that you are not here. 

I will be here when your eyes close and when your eyes finally open in the light of the Sun. Darling, I will be here. But you will not know, because you're nowhere to see that I will be here just waiting for you to be near me. When everything else just seems to be stuck in clockwise, I will repeat what I do when I remember you. I will be here searching for you in crowded places I've brought you to, I will be here sitting alone on high cafe chairs picturing you in front of me drinking a different kind of tea, I will be here hearing the song we loved to dance to even when it's silent around me, I will be here wishing to feel the same warmth that you feel right now, out there in the cold breeze from where you are. But you will be there and I will be here not knowing if you still care or if you could still remember how it felt when I lingered through your hair. But darling, 

I will be here and I swear I will be waiting.

Sa paglakbay

Sino nga ba ang nag-sabi sa ating

baligtarin ang damit sa paglakbay

upang hindi mawalay sa paroroonan?

Ang kalupaan ba talaga'y hindi

nabibigatan sa pagkarga at pagpasan

sa mga hakbang nating nambubulabog

ng katahimikan nito?

Aba'y, heto na naman ako;

parating nagbabakasakali. 

Parating naghihintay ng senyales

mula sa Diyos ng pagasa at pangako.

Nga pala, hindi ba'y nangako ka na

tayo'y magkikita sa dulo?

Kaya heto akong nanghihingalo,

kumakapit sa kung ano mang makakapitan,

nakikinig na lamang sa mga direksyon

ng mga estrangharo na tila hindi

matanaw kung saan ako patungo.

Malapit na ba?

Malayo pa ba?

Naasaan ka na?

Makakarating ka kaya?

- - - - - - - - - -

My second attempt on Filipino Poetry. My first one, entitled "Pagod Na 'Ko" is too embarrassing to post. Please bear with me. 

consistency

In a sea of a loud crowd

in which I walk through,

I hear the boring footsteps 

from the slouching ones;

gasping heavily for air.

And then, there are groups 

of school girls gossiping,

as they make an insufferable noise

still, they hear everything from everyone.

And a bunch of peculiar words

spoken to be unspoken.

On the other hand are words

fathomed into something to be heard.

Some girls look at me as I walk by,

as they whisper through

their lipglossed lips

and sharp tongues.

Some girls say they stop caring

but, secretly still and 

secretly wanting themselves to be healed.

And then, I think of you

but, they wouldn't know;

they wouldn't know because

I wouldn't show.

And so, I stop walking

and start waiting

for a prize

for waiting so long.

Finally, someone said that

something becomes a habit

because of consistency.

And so, I thought that

I've been consistently 

thinking about you lately.

Even through such noise,

my thought of you is louder.

Love doesn't fade (Dogmatic)

Love doesn't actually fade, it just changes. It changes over time that you can no longer recognize it but, if it's true enough, it will always be there. Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean loving him romantically still. You can love a person with the way he is now and not the way he was before. You can always love someone because of such small reasons; you can say you love him because he's great, or he made you happy, or because he remembered you when your favorite song played on the radio. You can always love a person because he taught you how to love in the first place, or maybe you two had a great time when you were together. You can always love someone in a way that you're just truly thankful to have met him or you're glad that he exists. You can always love someone because he was there when you needed someone the most.

You can always show appreciation with such affection as love. Love doesn't have to be heavy in your heart. Love doesn't have to be a burden. Say you love someone because he loves the same music as you. Say you love someone because he knows you in every little thing you do. Or, say you love someone because he taught you how to be brave, he taught you that you can eventually let go and accept the love that he can only offer you now--the love that says, "thank you for everything." The love that says, "thank you for letting me know you, but I am letting you go now. So, thank you. I love you."