When the question of "why?" claims to always be unanswered; when hearts begin to falter in the fault of their own expectations, of their own theory that if they ever get an answer then all the love songs in this world would vanish. When eyes become way too weary from all the sight of defeat and loss. When mouths are left longing for the same taste that they want over and over again as if a child in thirst screaming for iced cold water that he can't have because his throat has been scratched and way too tired from too much talking, too much explaining of things that will never seem to be explicable for those who can't even understand themselves, who is he to even get in the way of their way too chaotic minds?
When hands beg for more alms in the hopes of getting through the day with their stomach finally filled and no longer angry and their body fueled up even a little bit to just wake up in the morning to do some more begging that they don't even want to do, that deep in their minds they are convinced that they were not born to sit along the street and get neglected every single day, that, convinced,
they do not live up to get rejected always.
When the sun begins to fade and the dusk begins to take over, when everyone is obliged to go home and just leave things be for the grace of another morning, when two different people find themselves in love and walking alone and looking up the sky but seeing no stars above them, when they tell each other not to worry because they've got all the light and sparkle they want in each other's eyes anyway, when it's in the middle of dawn and you hear a little girl cry in the midst of her parents' never ending fight, when you decide to go to bed and decide to close your eyes and when everything around you starts to blackout as if you're blind for the rest of the night, when the only sound you could hear is your own heavy breathing as a sign of succeeding the entire day.
Darling, when you're on your own peaceful and alone, I will be here thinking about all these things, wondering if you think the same, feeling everything through my hands, feeling through my hands that something is wrong;
that you are not here.
I will be here when your eyes close and when your eyes finally open in the light of the Sun. Darling, I will be here. But you will not know, because you're nowhere to see that I will be here just waiting for you to be near me. When everything else just seems to be stuck in clockwise, I will repeat what I do when I remember you. I will be here searching for you in crowded places I've brought you to, I will be here sitting alone on high cafe chairs picturing you in front of me drinking a different kind of tea, I will be here hearing the song we loved to dance to even when it's silent around me, I will be here wishing to feel the same warmth that you feel right now, out there in the cold breeze from where you are. But you will be there and I will be here not knowing if you still care or if you could still remember how it felt when I lingered through your hair. But darling,
I will be here and I swear I will be waiting.