Beginnings

If you don't know where to begin, then it's okay.

We could begin talking about our exes

And how we thought they were the one.

We could talk about that person

You were attracted to the other day.

We could begin

Stories

We were made of stories 

we wouldn't tell anybody else.

The history books didn't have 

Our names written in them.

But we were hoping 

to be remembered by people 

that don't even know we exist.

But, we do exist.

We are a breathing story line 

with an unlikely plot twist;

we've given up the moment

we knew we were going well.

We were getting too strong

that nobody could break us,

but us.

So, we did.

We had plenty of chances

as if they were just dust

in our shelves 

of books that were just waiting

to be read, to be held,

to be loved again.

We had an open ending.

One which everybody else

keeps on determining

how it should go,

how it should turn out to be

the best story ever told.

But, no.

And don't tell me that I didn't try.

Because, I've been up for it

every single time. 

And I still don't know why

we've never spoken our apologies.

Or maybe we did 

and I just didn't care.

Because I saw the look in your eyes

and, I swear

they were seeing me but

were seeking something else.

And I never said I'd give up.

I'd never risk losing us. 

But, isn't it that some promises

were made to be broken?

No, it's not just that.

Some things were made to be broken.

Some people were made to be broken,

even the ones we thought would make it.

Let's go back to the beginning,

how I said that we were made of

stories we wouldn't tell anybody else.

But, since I'm telling the truth,

we were made of stories

we were afraid they'd find out.

And, no, the history books didn't

have our names written in them

because we didn't make it.

Isn't it they only sell the 

ones who've succeeded?

Let's go back to our ending,

how I realized that we are no longer

made of untold stories.

We are now made of memories

kept on boxes,

of poems we can no longer 

tell each other

and the rest,

I guess,

that I 

no longer want to remember.

the things I wrote to forget you, #1

I have convinced myself that there is no such thing as destiny. I'm beginning to believe to chance meetings. To intentional approaches. To planned happenings. Believing that such spontaneous events are always possible has been put to an end. I guess, I could say I don't believe in the unexpected anymore. But, a part of me has always believed with the impossible and that with faith, it could be possible. But, I knew all along how difficult it would be to change the things I can't accept instead of simply accepting the things that I can't change. So, I gave up. I've given up a lot of times already and this is where I've been led to: the disbelief of magic, or perhaps just anything surreal. The disbelief of us being surreal, the disbelief of the feelings I had that were surreal.

I have convinced myself that you were just a phase. That you were just a storm that my nights had to get through. That you were only temporary. That you were never staying. You were just a phase. You were never the dead end. You were just a cliff I needed to fly away from. And in the midst of us was a deep hole and if you and I considered staying and keep going, we could've fallen into that trap. We would've tried to climb back up but that will never change the memory of falling into the surface head first, eyes closed and hearts frightened. But, now that I'm still flying I've thought of how many times to go back to you. But, I will never consider that as an option anymore. What I do consider is that you were just a phase, because you could never be my fate.

this is an apology letter

This is an apology letter

For not enduring it all too soon,

For not giving it all up when it was time to,

For not letting you go when you needed it the most.

This is an apology letter

For my brave soul that took a step forward,

Towards to,

And never backward from you.

For my unending faith with our fate

That we didn't know will end up to wreck us instead,

Move us apart and bend us real hard.

This is an apology letter.

This is an apology letter

For the promises i made,

For all my mistakes,

For all your gives and all my takes.

This is an apology letter

For trying a little too hard to make it through,

For holding a little too tight on you,

For telling you that I'll never let you go,

For making the both of us hope,

For letting the both of us lose,

For seeing the both of us choose

To part ways

To never meet again.

This is an apology letter

For not enduring it all too soon,

For not giving it all up when it was time to.

Because right now,

I've fallen in love with you a lot more.

Even a little too much, though.

And I know you have, too.

That is why

I am writing this to you,

An apology letter,

For telling you

"Hey, I'll never let you go. I'll never let this go."

I should've known.

I should've known

That it was going to be

This difficult.

I should've known

That it was going to be

Hard to get back up.

This is an apology letter

To my ever dearest you.

To you, my love unending, never bending.

This is an apology letter

For not enduring it all too soon,

For not giving it all up when it was time to,

For never ever wanting to let go of you.